Possible Serial Killer Sweeping Midwest


Celebrity Big Mouths

Is anyone else tired of celebrities speaking for them?? The latest is that Bruce Springsteen tells Ausies at a concert that he’s embarrassed to be an American because of Trump … I’m a lot of things, but embarrassed to be an American is not one of them!

Gift of speaking, I have not 

I could be a freakin public/socializing-speaking genius if I could speak well and I wouldn’t be so misunderstood all the time, but no, these beautiful words and thoughts stay trapped in my brain.

I’ve been called an enigma, I’ve been described in ways that I know is not who I truly am, people rarely see into the true me, because my actions have rarely expressed my intelligence, my thoughts rarely make it out of my mouth and if they do they’re so discombobulated I sound the opposite of knowing what I’m talking about. I suppose writing is the only way I can communicate and make some sort of sense to others. 

I wish I could speak well. That is a gift I was not blessed with…  

Protest evolution 

As a 32 year old, obviously I have no idea what the last time was like when American citizens were in an uproar and protesting…. I really would love to hear from the people who lived through the Vietnam era and how does today’s protests/rioting compare and/or differ …… 

 Eye of the storm … I don’t fail, I learn… 

The song by Ryan Stevenson, Eye of the Storm, has been playing exactly when I need it lately. Lord knows my whole life has felt like a storm, so I am so thankful for Christian music… There have been many times songs have came on that hit an arrow straight through the issue and helped me feel more comforted. 

Lord how I wish that I could feel your presence more often. The scriptures that talk about, knowing the Lord is always with you and will never forsake you, are not always comforting (as much as I hate to admit that). 

Being such a passionate spirit is huge a struggle. 

I have these big ideas to help people and they often get crushed by other people pushing back… I only want to help better things and people and situations and most people seem to be put off by my enthusiasm as if I’m trying to take over their “positions” or “leadership”… It’s really upsetting and discouraging when all you’re trying to do is help by sharing the wonderful gift of insight that I’ve been blessed with… People don’t want change, they don’t like change and especially if you’re not in the elite or hierarchy class then your ideas are not welcomed. 

These issues have partly to do with one of my recent blogs about church…? To stay or not to stay… People are people, I get that. We get offended, we get our egos hurt, we’re afraid of losing power or control, yes, yes, yes! But there’s a time to grow up and get over it and it seems most Christians can’t even have an adult conversation or critique situations that could make things better. 

I wish I could start a church, even if it didn’t work out, at least I’d learn something and say I tried… If it did flourish I’d share my successful God given ideas with anyone who wanted to do the same or hear how I did it… 

I’m pretty much a learn as you go type of person…. There’s a little bit of planning involved but not so much that if we don’t follow the guidelines and plans and blueprints then everything’s gonna fall apart!!! What’s the point and and where’s the joy in that?!

Get together, sing unto the Lord, learn the Word and fellowship and eat…. These simple guide lines would get us much farther in our spiritual walks and relationships with each other than what we have going on now…. 

Some people love their church building, and place of fellow believers, I’ve been there too, and guess what, every time, it ends in the pastor and other leaders being shady… Not that all places are like this, but I believe it’s growing to be like this more often than not and it saddens me…. 

When I get to Heaven

When I get to heaven , I’m going to ask God many things, but the one question that bugs me the most is knowing the answer to, “When Adam and Eve sinned, why didn’t you just start over? Wipe them away and start again? If you knew the future, then why did you not think it better to have prevented all the horrible things sin was going to bring and cause to so many of Your beloved children, by trying again? Wouldn’t you have rather turned only two back to dust, rather than let all the suffering for thousands of years go on?”

 Adam and Eve could have been turned back into dust before they even knew what God was doing….

It confuses me, and yes I know, we are to lean not on our own understanding, but on every word of God… However , God allows us to question and learn and consider, we just have to be careful not to let that take us to the path of non-belief in Jesus. 

I suppose one scenario could be because, who wants to destroy their children, even if they are defected in some way? But sin is considerably the worst defect to have! Most people wouldn’t abort their babies by knowing before hand that the baby would be born deformed, or challenged in a significant way. 

Yet, in my mind it seems possible that, that logic is more sympathetic than cruel. Please understand me, I often think of both sides of things and usually don’t have one stance or another on an opinion, especially an opinion! So, I have contemplated many times the pros and cons of both options. 

I for one would not have the heart to watch my child suffer with a deformity all their life…. or mine… Possibly, this is why God gave me two healthy children… He knew it could destroy my spirit…. 

I just can’t wait to get to heaven and ask God these questions that I’m truly desiring to know the answers to…. And I have so many….


What has the church become? The Christian church…? I’ll tell you what it has become, at least from my perspective and experience…

1 Law and Order

2 Structure, Structure, Structure,

3 Worship or Praise team = Superstar Show

4 Cliques (Only a select few know the inside scoop as to what’s going on behind the scenes)

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe God is still present in most christian churches, but these issues are turning people off and away from churches….. And how much longer before God says, ENOUGH of your rituals and laws and orders!!

I LOVE to have a place to worship with a group of people that believe in Jesus like I do, but I am beginning to feel it’s not worth it and to just start staying home and worshiping with my little family. Or having bible studies in my home. Or doing the online bible studies like Proverbs31 Ministries, has…

I want..no! I need transparency! I don’t like covering things up, or hush-hush discussions about the future, near or far, about the church and who’s in charge of what and what’s changing from this to that and blah blah blah and so on and so forth….. It feels icky and wrong…. I hate cliques and I hate inequality and I hate hierarchy!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only time there was or should have been hierarchy is when Jesus was roaming the earth teaching and making disciples! I do believe that some people are gifted at “leading” or guiding rather…. but to have one person be listened to, every single Sunday morning, with an assistant pastor occasionally speaking, is so wrong to me. That can more often than not, go to someones’ head, among many other issues that can resolve from this.

So it leaves me with the question to God… Should I stay or should I go now?

Corinth: Why Paul’s worst church may be our best model

I love this! Today I was just thinking these same things about how churches are so stinkin’ concerned with structure, structure, structure, that it leaves no room for impromptu discussions during services, or new and fresh ideas being tried during services or worship time. It’s extremely frustrating. Every church you walk into now is all about, no, no, no, we are set in our ways and don’t try to change anything because this is how it’s done and we like it this way….. Irks me to death!!


I think it’s time somebodyTemple of Apollo at Corinth came to the defense of the church in Corinth.  Okay, so they’re all dead now.  But they live on in two of Paul’s letters for all the world to see.  I think Corinth, arguably Paul’s worst church, may be our best model for church today.  Better than Purpose-driven, Willow Creek, or any of the other models out there.  Here’s why:

  1. They were brand-new believers.  Talk about a church planter’s dream.  This was a church of new Christians.  Not a transfer member among them.  Newbies, to use the jargon.  No preconceived ideas, no “we-did-it-this-way-at-my-other-church” notions, fresh as the new-mown hay. 
  2. They participated.  Okay, so maybe they participated a little too exuberantly, but they all wanted to contribute to worship.  They all had a prophecy, a word of knowledge, a tongue, a revelation, or an interpretation.  They obviously did not have an “order” of worship, but as…

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