Soul Pain

I look out the window and I am saddened. Yet again, the vision I had for that view is no longer before me. I am filled with grief like I’ve lost my very soul, I loved that vision of the future as much as I loved you. I am sure that I am safe but feeling insecure at the same time. It is a twisted cocktail of emotions.

It never fails, as soon as I get comfortable the ground cracks underneath me and shakes me up as if to let me know your future is really never what you think it will be. No matter how much planning and hope goes into it, life changes with the blink of an eye. Love and attachment is on the line, how am I supposed to just be fine? Rocked to the core was my soul and safety. Tortured by love because of the pain that it brings, raw emotions are so hard to claim. The closer I get to you the more vulnerable I become. The more vulnerable I become the easier the pain is brought to the surface. It spills out like a raging fire and it can’t be put out, only smothered, but always left there underneath, are hot coals burning, smoldering, awaiting that one little spark to ignite the fire of soul stinging pain, …………..again.

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